I'm at a point right now where I've got a lot on my mind. Some things I'm ready to write about, others I'm not. When I went to put some of my thoughts down, though, I realized it had been 6 months since I had last posted.
Bearing that in mind, in the interests of providing context to any of my future posts, here's what's new...
Work:
I left my job of 14.5 years to go to work for the client that I had been working with. This has left me with a lot of feelings...
Excitement - because I'm doing something different and new and exciting
Security - because my previous role was likely not going to exist in the long-term future...
Grief - because my relationship with my previous work friends took such a dramatic and unexpected turn and I'm feeling that loss... So much...
Frustration - because the management style and approach is so completely unfamiliar to me...
Worry - because I miss my old colleagues and friends and wonder if I've made a mistake
Relief - because I have a good pension plan and no longer need to worry about how I'm going to manage to survive 30 years from now.
Weight:
Lost 15 of the 20 pounds I had gained back. Still need to exercise, though. I've been managing my weight with food alone thus far, but that isn't going to get me the body I want, only one I can be satisfied with. It's not enough, and I need to give myself a serious kick in the ass and do something about it.
Relationships:
Marriage: Things are, for the most part, really good. Communication is key, and I'm making a point of being VERY clear about where I'm at. I believe this has served us well thus far - that is not to say that there are no conflicts - 'cause let's face it - there will always be some conflict in any marriage. No, it's more that there aren't any misunderstandings. When there's an issue. It's real, and it's valid, and it needs to be resolved. There are no conflicts based on false information or assumptions, though.
Family: My new job is a 2-hour commute away. Oddly enough, this doesn't bother me too much - I actually spend more time with the family than I used to with my old job. I will say, though, that the commute makes the work days themselves much longer than they used to be. For this reason, I feel compelled to make the most of the weekends, since that's the time I really have available to spend with people. This is a shift in the overall dynamic of our family, and one we're each struggling with, at least to some degree.
Friends: I'm making friends more of a priority. Whether it be taking the time to FB message the during my morning commute or touching base in the evenings/weekends when the opportunity presents itself, I'm making more of a point to connect with people. Some are good friends I've had for years. Some are family. Some are old friends I've reconnected with, and some are more like acquaintances whose commonalities with myself have pleasantly surprised me. However I've come to know them, I'm enjoying the connections, even if they are mostly done electronically due to my lifestyle and priorities.
Life, and the pursuit of happiness:
I've also been making plans with friends when I'm not working, recognizing that I am more than a wife, mother, and employee, but I'm also a person who has their own wants, needs, and vision. I'm trying to be a little bit selfish, finally realizing that "because it makes me happy" IS actually reason enough to do something. That my happiness needn't just be a fortunate by-product of a decision made to benefit someone else, but can actually be the primary goal of something - and that that's ok. I'm learning to be a little bit frivolous and am trying to be more spontaneous. Sometimes I love the planning of things, and the anticipation when an event is coming up. Recently, though, I've discovered that it can weigh on me, too - the planning of it all, the having to make it happen, the having to adjust and modify when plans need to change. I've found that having the flexibility and the willingness to simply get up and do something NOW - because the opportunity has presented itself and because you want to - is a lovely thing.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Expanding our Family
Hubby & I are dog people. We love logs, want dogs, and growing up, we always had a dog in the house.
Now that we're all grown up and have a family of our own, we want to have a couple of dogs. There are a couple of challenges, however, that we haven't been able to fully get past, which is why we haven't yet "pulled the trigger" on the decision to get a dog.
Dogs take time. The time to train them, and to follow through, consistently, with the training, because if you're not going to follow through and be consistent, there's no point in doing it at all, 'cause you won't get the results you're looking for. Time to play with them, groom them, and just be there for them.
Dogs take money. Not only the initial costs, adoption fees or other fees, but also vet fees and obedience training school fees. If you plan on going away for a vacation and don't have someone to dog-sit, kennel fees.
Dogs involve a lifestyle change. You need to be willing to modify your lifestyle significantly, to meet the needs of a dog. Daily walks, being around and available to let the dog out when it needs to go to the bathroom, saying "no" to impromptu getaways that can't accommodate dogs.
So.... what do dog lovers do, who don't have time or money, and who aren't yet ready to commit to a lifestyle overhaul?
They get cats ;)
We have never really given much consideration to cats before, as we are, as mentioned above, dog people. It's not that I dislike cats, not at all... I've just never had one as a pet and I really don't know anything about them, so it isn't something that even entered my radar. Last week, however, as we heard scratching and scurrying in the walls of our old house in the country, hubby suggested that we get a cat (or two). Mouse traps just aren't doing the trick, and our kids would LOVE to have some pets to play with and care for, and nothing seems to be changing regarding those ever-present challenges associated with getting a dog, so we decided to go for it.
The last week has been a whirlwind of getting information (I didn't know how much they eat, how often to change the litter, what kind of food or litter to buy, what they need from us to ensure their needs are met, etc), and luckily our friends have (or have had) cats, so they were able to answer my incessant (and I'm sure ridiculously basic) questions.
So they are set to arrive tomorrow morning... Two six-month old kittens - brothers - who are rescue cats, have been neutered, have had their shots and their claws clipped, and are free! We're going out tonight to get all the accessories and things they will need to get settled into our home, as we get ready to expand our family by two more, and welcome our new fuzzy family members with open arms.
Now that we're all grown up and have a family of our own, we want to have a couple of dogs. There are a couple of challenges, however, that we haven't been able to fully get past, which is why we haven't yet "pulled the trigger" on the decision to get a dog.
Dogs take time. The time to train them, and to follow through, consistently, with the training, because if you're not going to follow through and be consistent, there's no point in doing it at all, 'cause you won't get the results you're looking for. Time to play with them, groom them, and just be there for them.
Dogs take money. Not only the initial costs, adoption fees or other fees, but also vet fees and obedience training school fees. If you plan on going away for a vacation and don't have someone to dog-sit, kennel fees.
Dogs involve a lifestyle change. You need to be willing to modify your lifestyle significantly, to meet the needs of a dog. Daily walks, being around and available to let the dog out when it needs to go to the bathroom, saying "no" to impromptu getaways that can't accommodate dogs.
So.... what do dog lovers do, who don't have time or money, and who aren't yet ready to commit to a lifestyle overhaul?
They get cats ;)
We have never really given much consideration to cats before, as we are, as mentioned above, dog people. It's not that I dislike cats, not at all... I've just never had one as a pet and I really don't know anything about them, so it isn't something that even entered my radar. Last week, however, as we heard scratching and scurrying in the walls of our old house in the country, hubby suggested that we get a cat (or two). Mouse traps just aren't doing the trick, and our kids would LOVE to have some pets to play with and care for, and nothing seems to be changing regarding those ever-present challenges associated with getting a dog, so we decided to go for it.
The last week has been a whirlwind of getting information (I didn't know how much they eat, how often to change the litter, what kind of food or litter to buy, what they need from us to ensure their needs are met, etc), and luckily our friends have (or have had) cats, so they were able to answer my incessant (and I'm sure ridiculously basic) questions.
So they are set to arrive tomorrow morning... Two six-month old kittens - brothers - who are rescue cats, have been neutered, have had their shots and their claws clipped, and are free! We're going out tonight to get all the accessories and things they will need to get settled into our home, as we get ready to expand our family by two more, and welcome our new fuzzy family members with open arms.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Exercise
It was February of Last year that I started this blog. This same time last year that I began my weight-loss journey, and I'm still on that journey today.
I've now reached the next stage of the "PINK Method", and am therefore introducing both exercise, and some slow-burning carbs. I've been dreading the former, and looking forward to the latter.
The truth is, I HATE exercise - I hate the process, but I love the results, and I know that I will never see any lasting transformation unless it has a permanent place in my lifestyle. It's a necessary evil.
I truly wish that I could be one of those people (whom I generally find immeasurably irritating) that LOVES to exercise. They love the challenge, they love sweating, they love knowing that they're pushing themselves harder and further than they have before. They get a sense of accomplishment from it. They zone out while running, almost engaged in a moving meditation.
Alas, I don't think I'll ever be one of those people, and therein lies the problem. I read somewhere that when you struggle with your weight, unless you learn to LOVE exercise, you will ALWAYS struggle with your weight. You will slack off when you reach a size that you're content with, then have to start over again once you notice that you're slipping back into old habits (and into your older, larger-size jeans). The article encouraged the reader to explore all kinds of different fitness classes and active lifestyle options, with the objective of finding one that they enjoyed. After all, if you enjoy something, you're much more likely to get up and do it, because you WANT to do it.
This makes a lot of sense to me, and also fills me with panic. I've tried so many different types of classes, and none of them really appeal to me. They're all WORK - and for me, not a labor of love. So I'm left with a low-lying worry that I try not to listen to very often... Will I always struggle with my weight? Am I destined to watch the scale and my clothing size bobble back and forth, because the idea of excercising makes me want to curl up and take a nap?
I'm trying to block out those thoughts - those are the ones that discourage me and try to make me quit before I even start. Instead, I'm going to focus on the immediate benefits that come along with exercise (not the long-term ones, as those don't give the instant gratification that i'm all about). The vanilla and sweet almond-scented body wash that I get to use when I'm done my post-workout shower... My rich and delicious chocolate-banana post-workout smoothie... These are the things that keep me on track right now, and make me get up and do my workout. I wish I could think of more, but for now, that's all I got :)
I've now reached the next stage of the "PINK Method", and am therefore introducing both exercise, and some slow-burning carbs. I've been dreading the former, and looking forward to the latter.
The truth is, I HATE exercise - I hate the process, but I love the results, and I know that I will never see any lasting transformation unless it has a permanent place in my lifestyle. It's a necessary evil.
I truly wish that I could be one of those people (whom I generally find immeasurably irritating) that LOVES to exercise. They love the challenge, they love sweating, they love knowing that they're pushing themselves harder and further than they have before. They get a sense of accomplishment from it. They zone out while running, almost engaged in a moving meditation.
Alas, I don't think I'll ever be one of those people, and therein lies the problem. I read somewhere that when you struggle with your weight, unless you learn to LOVE exercise, you will ALWAYS struggle with your weight. You will slack off when you reach a size that you're content with, then have to start over again once you notice that you're slipping back into old habits (and into your older, larger-size jeans). The article encouraged the reader to explore all kinds of different fitness classes and active lifestyle options, with the objective of finding one that they enjoyed. After all, if you enjoy something, you're much more likely to get up and do it, because you WANT to do it.
This makes a lot of sense to me, and also fills me with panic. I've tried so many different types of classes, and none of them really appeal to me. They're all WORK - and for me, not a labor of love. So I'm left with a low-lying worry that I try not to listen to very often... Will I always struggle with my weight? Am I destined to watch the scale and my clothing size bobble back and forth, because the idea of excercising makes me want to curl up and take a nap?
I'm trying to block out those thoughts - those are the ones that discourage me and try to make me quit before I even start. Instead, I'm going to focus on the immediate benefits that come along with exercise (not the long-term ones, as those don't give the instant gratification that i'm all about). The vanilla and sweet almond-scented body wash that I get to use when I'm done my post-workout shower... My rich and delicious chocolate-banana post-workout smoothie... These are the things that keep me on track right now, and make me get up and do my workout. I wish I could think of more, but for now, that's all I got :)
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Beginning with the End in Mind
I'm an idea-junkie. I hear ideas, I identify with them, I get excited about them, and I want to make them happen.
The reality, though, is that "making it happen" involves follow-through and work, and that sometimes once you find yourself in the midst of the follow through and work, you've lost the excitement that made you start in the first place.
I will say, that my husband is wonderfully patient and understanding, and that he always supports my ideas, knowing that some will come to fruition, and others will not. He doesn't say "yeah, right" or "we'll see if it actually happens"... He says "that sounds cool" or "neat idea!". I have a million ideas (very few are my own, as I'm not a very creative person by nature) and I would like to implement some of them. All of them are worthwhile.... all of them have benefits that i would like to reap... but they cannot all be implemented at the same time, and so if I'm to be successful, I must both prioritize, and do what I can to maintain the excitement I feel when I begin.
I think working toward two goals, each focusing on a different area of my life, is absolutely feasible. With that in mind, I'm pursuing my weight-loss/health goal, and a de-cluttering goal. I have specific plans and methods to achieve each of these goals... a step-by-step guide, if you will, which will help me to be successful.
With each of these goals, I need to remain focused, every single day, on why I want to achieve the goal - the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. When I lose sight of my destination, I find myself derailed, and I get off track. I need to begin with the end in mind, and not lose sight of it - not even for a minute.
The reality, though, is that "making it happen" involves follow-through and work, and that sometimes once you find yourself in the midst of the follow through and work, you've lost the excitement that made you start in the first place.
I will say, that my husband is wonderfully patient and understanding, and that he always supports my ideas, knowing that some will come to fruition, and others will not. He doesn't say "yeah, right" or "we'll see if it actually happens"... He says "that sounds cool" or "neat idea!". I have a million ideas (very few are my own, as I'm not a very creative person by nature) and I would like to implement some of them. All of them are worthwhile.... all of them have benefits that i would like to reap... but they cannot all be implemented at the same time, and so if I'm to be successful, I must both prioritize, and do what I can to maintain the excitement I feel when I begin.
I think working toward two goals, each focusing on a different area of my life, is absolutely feasible. With that in mind, I'm pursuing my weight-loss/health goal, and a de-cluttering goal. I have specific plans and methods to achieve each of these goals... a step-by-step guide, if you will, which will help me to be successful.
With each of these goals, I need to remain focused, every single day, on why I want to achieve the goal - the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. When I lose sight of my destination, I find myself derailed, and I get off track. I need to begin with the end in mind, and not lose sight of it - not even for a minute.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Slipping and Falling
So... I'm back on the saddle again, or at least I was for the last week and a half.
I'm working the PINK Method lifestyle again. Got through the "Reset" phase until the evening of Day 9, at which point I crashed and burned. Carbo-loading and indulging.
You'd think that after 9 days of very low carbs, that the experience would be gratifying and satisfying, but no - it wasn't. And today? I'm left to deal with the aftermath, both on the scale, and with my body, which has no idea what's going on and is a mess today.
Why is it that at times, the allure of a particular food item seems more tempting and more rewarding, somehow, than the goals that we would achieve if we were to avoid it? Why is it that despite all we've learned, we repeat the same mistakes? Why does short-term thinking and the inclination to achieve instant gratification override everything else that we KNOW we want?
So I slip and fall, because I'm human, and I make mistakes. I pick myself up, brush myself off and get back in the saddle because I'm ME. :)
I'm working the PINK Method lifestyle again. Got through the "Reset" phase until the evening of Day 9, at which point I crashed and burned. Carbo-loading and indulging.
You'd think that after 9 days of very low carbs, that the experience would be gratifying and satisfying, but no - it wasn't. And today? I'm left to deal with the aftermath, both on the scale, and with my body, which has no idea what's going on and is a mess today.
Why is it that at times, the allure of a particular food item seems more tempting and more rewarding, somehow, than the goals that we would achieve if we were to avoid it? Why is it that despite all we've learned, we repeat the same mistakes? Why does short-term thinking and the inclination to achieve instant gratification override everything else that we KNOW we want?
So I slip and fall, because I'm human, and I make mistakes. I pick myself up, brush myself off and get back in the saddle because I'm ME. :)
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Goals...
I continue to struggle with defining my goals for 2013. I went on a search for podcasts to see if something would jump out and bite me, and I listened to a few different ones, in the interests of finding one or two that speak to me.
While doing do, one thing I heard that definitely resonated with me, was the idea of spending a half hour a day on personal growth and development. At first this seemed daunting... there aren't enough hours in a day as it is, so how can I come up with another half hour? But then I gave some consideration to multitasking.
There are a lot of elecronic resources available now, between podcasts and books/training on CDs... that this is something you can do while you do other things. Whether it be learning a language or listening to a lifecoach podcast, a half hour a day can be carved out while doing dishes, while waiting for anything, while driving to/from work or while enjoying your morning coffee.
So while I still haven't defined my goals for the year, I am committing to spending 30 minutes a day on personal development - and hopefully that will lead to me figuring out what I want to do next :)
While doing do, one thing I heard that definitely resonated with me, was the idea of spending a half hour a day on personal growth and development. At first this seemed daunting... there aren't enough hours in a day as it is, so how can I come up with another half hour? But then I gave some consideration to multitasking.
There are a lot of elecronic resources available now, between podcasts and books/training on CDs... that this is something you can do while you do other things. Whether it be learning a language or listening to a lifecoach podcast, a half hour a day can be carved out while doing dishes, while waiting for anything, while driving to/from work or while enjoying your morning coffee.
So while I still haven't defined my goals for the year, I am committing to spending 30 minutes a day on personal development - and hopefully that will lead to me figuring out what I want to do next :)
Friday, January 18, 2013
Looking Forward
Now that I'm well entrenched in the new year, I've been giving some consideration to what I want the year to bring.
I've been trying and casting aside a couple of ideas, none of which seem sustainable or ring true to the person I am, and the person I want to be.
I tend to be a goal-oriented and results-driven person, so I've put a lot of pressure on myself to define goals - after all, as of right now, I have only 11.5 months to reach them, and the clock's ticking. Having said that, beyond knowing what my goal weight is, I have nothing defined. I have some vague sense of what I'd like my life to be like, and I guess this year will be about trying to make things more closely resemble that vision.
I'd like a life filled with laughter and silliness, with security and love. I'd like to feel at peace with myself, so that my actions are inline with my ideals. Vague sentiments, right? To turn this into action, I guess I need to figure out what's happening now that ISN'T in line with those things - what's prevented me from achieving this in the past - then take steps to change those factors. Hmmm... so much to think about...
Tick-tock, tick-tock....
I've been trying and casting aside a couple of ideas, none of which seem sustainable or ring true to the person I am, and the person I want to be.
I tend to be a goal-oriented and results-driven person, so I've put a lot of pressure on myself to define goals - after all, as of right now, I have only 11.5 months to reach them, and the clock's ticking. Having said that, beyond knowing what my goal weight is, I have nothing defined. I have some vague sense of what I'd like my life to be like, and I guess this year will be about trying to make things more closely resemble that vision.
I'd like a life filled with laughter and silliness, with security and love. I'd like to feel at peace with myself, so that my actions are inline with my ideals. Vague sentiments, right? To turn this into action, I guess I need to figure out what's happening now that ISN'T in line with those things - what's prevented me from achieving this in the past - then take steps to change those factors. Hmmm... so much to think about...
Tick-tock, tick-tock....
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