Irritable

I was irritable this afternoon.

I know myself well enough to know what my main triggers of stress/anxiety/irritability are...

• disorganization
• derailing of plans
• running late
• having too much to do and not enough time in which to do it
• being out too late running errands with the kids, knowing that they should be in bed
• crowds of people
• being hungry
• general chaos

So today, I found myself back-to-school shopping. That's right. On the Saturday before school starts, I'm just starting to get things together. It wasn't for a lack of planning... I had looked through the flyers, had the list, comparison shopped, etc. Unfortunately, things didn't go according to plan.

There were some great sales in the area on school supplies we needed...unfortunately, most of the sales ended on Thursday, and I didn't get paid until Friday. What does that mean for us, in practical terms? Why was this a problem? Well, the bottom line is that it means I'm paying full price for everything, and it's all well and truly picked over, so we get very little in the way of selection.

Given that there were no good sales around our area, I figured we might try our luck in the states. After all, we made out well doing last-minute shopping at K-Mart last year, so why not give it another try? How about because there's a 53 minute wait at the Peace Bridge, 1hr 24 min at the Queenston-Lewiston Bridge, and a whopping 1 hr 42 min wait at the Rainbow Bridge! Well, I decide that if we were to head there anyway, we'd need to go to the bank first, so we head to the bank, and before changing the currency over, I check again. Now the shortest wait time is 59 minutes, and it's climbing. Change of plans - we're staying local.

We go to 2 stores, gradually crossing things from our list, and ultimately end up at Wal-Mart. The place is packed. There are too many people in the small back to school section, and someone in there reeks of BO. After juggling stacks of paper and locker accessories, Jillian tracks down a cart, and I dump our accumulated supplies in there with relief. But what's this? It doesn't seem to want to turn the corner... I'm struggling with the thing, and I realize that the right front wheel is seized. It's 1pm at this point, and several things on my "trigger" checklist are in play here... I'm hungry, it's crowded, our reality doesn't even remotely resemble my plans, and I'm feeling anxious because not only have I left everything so last minute, but no one has ANY DAMN REINFORCEMENTS!!

So my blood pressure is skyrocketing, and I can clearly visualize myself picking up the cart and throwing it through their front window/door. Not only can I picture this, but at the time, this seems to be to be a completely appropriate manner in which to handle the situation.

Needless to say, I half-wheeled, half-dragged our cart immediately to the checkout, and got the hell out of there, before things got out of control.

Back-to-school *sigh* It's that time of year again.