Commitment - Part 1

Commitment has always been a critical factor with me. For me, it has always made the difference between what I would consider "success" and "failure". Everyone's personal definitions of these terms will vary, and I will likely get into what those terms mean to me at some point in the future, but for the time being, we'll break it down to simply mean that success is when I'm happy with something, and failure will refer to when I'm not.

Do I want a "successful" relationship? I need to be 100% committed to it, in order for that to happen. Do I want to be successful in my quest to overhaul certain aspects of my life? Again, full commitment is necessary.

The absence of a full commitment can, on occasion, be debilitating, however, or certainly prevent growth and forward movement. This is likely because I believe that if I'm not 100% committed to something, I will fail at it. I'm not a "dabbler". I tend not to just "try" things to see if I'm interested or if I like it.

I will often not even begin something, because if I know I'm not 100% committed to it, for the long haul, then if an obstacle presents itself, I will give up. Since it's unacceptable [to me] for me to be a "quitter," I don't bother with starting something unless I'm committed to it, or I would potentially be setting myself up for this end. And so it goes with me.

This is probably one of the reasons why I tend to research things to death. I want to develop and grow and change. I want to expand my horizons and "try" new things. Since I struggle with an inability to "try" new things and simply walk away, though, I learn as much as I can about something, to help me determine if I'm willing to commit to it.

Having said all that, once I commit to something, I'm unshakable, unflappable, and unwavering. I have already determined that I'm in it for the long haul, and that committing to it is worthwhile and good and right for me.

This is true for me in virtually all aspects of my life. It's also another reason why I'm struggling with issues like spirituality and life purpose. I'm not yet committed  to any particular path. I'm exploring, but I also believe that I'm approaching the point where I may need to "dabble" and "try" things out. This is way out of my comfort zone, but I feel like these choices are too important to make until I know that they're right for me. There's only so much research you can do before just "getting out there". And so I'm preparing to venture out into the world, to learn new things and [hopefully] find something worth committing to.