Boredom

I'm bored at work. I do the same things every day, day after day after day, and I'm feeling stifled, and also a little bit like I'm being wasted. My skills aren't being sharpened, I'm not being challenged... every day I work, I feel a little bit stupider, as my brain continues to go to mush from a lack of use.

There was a time when doing these same tasks did present a challenge, when I first learned them. Continuing to complete the same tasks made me feel good, because I felt like I was "mastering" them, or becoming an "expert" at them. I continued to keep myself engaged with them over time by finding new, different, and better ways to complete them, improving the process wherever possible. Now they hold nothing for me but dread, and the gnawing concern that this will be my forever, that I will slowly wither away while completing them.

Perhaps this is yet another reason why I'm focused on improving so many other aspects of my life - I need to feel challenged - I need to feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. Without doing this, I'm left feeling like something's dying inside me.

I suppose some people might think that my complaints are small, compared with what they could be. I mean, hey - I could be unemployed, right? Some might see, simply, that I get paid for doing something that I know well, and that I can do well - so no problem, right?

{sigh}

If only it were that simple. If only I didn't spend 8 hours a day doing something that made me feel small, insignificant, and of little value. If only I weren't so bored.