Development

Yesterday was a bittersweet day for me. A good day, but a bit surreal.

It was the day I took my daughter shopping for her first real bras. She's got sports bras and couple of other ones of the stretchy-cotton variety, but these are her first ones with an actual formed cup. I noticed last week that she was growing in that area, and then she spoke with me that night and said that she would like to have a "pretty" bra. Who can blame her? I like pretty undergarmets, too.

So off we went from store to store in search of the one(s) that would be pretty, comfortable, and would also fit her properly. As any woman knows, finding a bra that fits all these criteria can be a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack, but we were successful in our 4th and 5th stores, and walked away happily with 3 bras purchased.

It was a wonderful mother-daughter bonding experience, where I think we both learned some things about eachother as we spoke openly and honestly about personal things like body image and body changes.

I learned that my daughter demonstrates surprisingly good judgement for a 10-year-old. Despite falling in love with a certain bra, if it didn't fit her properly (for example, if it was too big in the cup), she said so. If she felt it was too revealing, she said so. If she felt that it would show through her clothes or the straps were positioned in such a way that the brastraps may be visible, she said so. Her thoughts behind her selection process were mature and made me proud.

She learned that she can talk to me about anything and everything, because I've been through it all before. Not only that, while I will share my stories and life lessons with her, I won't tell her what choices I feel she should make, or pass judgement when she doesn't make the same choices that I would. She can listen to my thoughts and then do what's right for her, and that's okay.

I hope that the day we shared yesterday is only the start of many similar days that we will have over the next few years. I think that we'll both need it, and I plan for it to happen at least every few months as an extra opportunity for us to touch-base and reconnect with one another.

And so I watch my daughter grow up - no longer a child, and yet not an adult, either. I watch with sadness and joy and hope and pride, all mixed up together. I'm in awe that I get to be here for her during her development as she transitions from being the child she once was, into the woman she will one day become.