Faith

I'm trying really hard to NOT control things, but to have faith that all will end up as it should. This is incredibly difficult for me, since at the end of the day, I don't trust people to make the choices that I feel they should.

Enter: Relationship Conflict.

The simple fact is that you can't run another person's life - even if you think that (sometimes, anyway) you may do a better job at it then they do. Everyone needs to be themselves, and that involves making the decisions that THEY think are right.

I'm trying to let go of some "controls" that I've put in place. Agreements that have been made over the years as a result of a negative situation. As an example of this, without getting into too many gory details, a rule of "no hard liquor" was invoked when someone had too much one night and was, let's just say "unpleasant|". By putting the rule in place, I made sure that the situation wouldn't happen again. This is just one of MANY rules which have been established.

I tend to not trust other people's judgement, and by invoking these rules, I'm able to give myself the reassurance I need in order to get past the issue, knowing it won't happen again.

The reality of life and relationships, though, is that when a person finds themselves having to live within so many rules and restrictions, which, while agreed upon at the time, were ultimately dictated by someone else who's supposed to be their equal, resentment is inevitable.

So... I've decided to let go. Let go of the rules, let go of the restrictions. Trust that people will make good choices and that they are considerate. Have faith that at the end of the day, consideration for other's feelings will prevail over selfishness, and that everything will be okay.

I'm scared. I'm so scared to let go of those controls that I'm completely FILLED with anxiety. I know that it needs to be done... that whole "If you love something, set it free" thing. Terrified that it won't come back to me - or that if it does, it won't be what I fell in love with in the first place.

Need to have faith.